Long and vulnerable post, which you could be reading on several different platforms... If you’ve been following on social media, you know I’ve picked up my own devotional, Becoming Unconsumed, to anchor my daily gratitude practice this summer. This daily practice has sparked the completion of this blog, which I’ve been working on for a while. << People ask me all the time, Lynne, why the need for all social media platforms and a website? Books and a blog? >>
My feeling is — you have to meet people where they are at. Some people love social media, others don’t have it at all. Some are online, some love books. When I began this journey many years ago, I realized that women everywhere are in need of safe community to share their stories, triumphs, challenges, and healing. A space for shedding shame and overwhelm, cultivating joy, and laughing so hard tears stream down your face. This community has grown by leaps and bounds over the last three years. On all platforms. Friendships have been made, tears have been shed, love + laughter has filled our moments. And the strings that tie us all together are authenticity, vulnerability, and grace.
I have a confession to make. In the last few months I have wandered far away from God. Now, the Christian heart in me knows that He didn’t wander away from me. But I wandered from Him. Yes, my faith continued, yes my daily gratitude and prayer + meditation continued. But in the sense of “on the surface”, not the deep relationship and trust I’ve had of God in the past. I wondered how or why He would “allow” my family and I to endure hard and painful circumstances, despite my true belief that everything in our lives is unfolding as it should. Despite my trust that good is always on the way. Despite my understanding that the night is darkest before the morning. I knew these things within my soul, but wrestled with them as applied to my own life. Have you ever been there? Can you relate?
I have felt like a hypocrite as I support countless friends near and far with their own circumstances. Wondering if they’d see through my own struggle. Wondering if I’d be able to keep my head above water while juggling a million plates. I never abandoned my daily practice of gratitude. I never abandoned prayer for the people I love most. Some days I felt numb. Most days I was confused. Many days I had anger that I could only articulate with the help of some pretty incredible people. People only God knew I would need.
So why am I telling you this?
Recently I knew I had to wrestle this out. Talk to God. Let him know that while I was still angry, I know he is always working behind the scenes on my behalf. On my family’s behalf. That His plans are greater than ours. And that even though I wrestled with close relationship with Him, I was still showing up daily, choosing faith and love over fear. Day In, day out, even when I didn’t understand.
That’s the beauty of relationship with God. We don’t have to figure it all out. We aren’t ever alone. Ever. The only person that can ever abandon us is ourselves. So if you’re in a tough circumstance today, let me remind you, you are not alone. You are never alone. That’s all we ever really need right? To know we aren’t alone.
Today I encourage you to practice gratitude, share love and let someone know she is not alone.
Much love, Lynne